Sad...

The last couple of days I have been very sad about the loss of our baby. I know I will have good days and bad days but, I can't help but think that I should be almost six months pregnant. I know that this heartache will only increase as the days get closer and closer to December 20th. I just wish there was a way for me to be okay, a way to make these feelings of sadness and hurt go away. I have been blessed to have some amazing people share their stories with me and that always makes me feel better and gives me hope for brighter days. But, there are still mean people who have never experienced the heartache of losing a child who feel like I should be okay. I wish there was a nice way to explain to people that I am a wreck without coming across rude. I don't know how long I can act like life is wonderful when it truly is not. Don't get me wrong, I know that things could be much worse for me and I should be thankful for all that I have....but right now all I can think about is wanting to be a mom. I can not wait for the day that Seth and I can call ourselves parents.